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We are still meeting monthly. We have recognized the value of building trust and in our last meeting I suggested we vary our format — typically we worship, check in about our condition, then we take turns sharing about what work we have been doing related to anti-oppression or anti-racism or collective liberation, invite feedback, comments, critiques. There were some happenings in Quaker circles a few years ago that involved structural oppression (in my opinion) and complicated relational questions. I invited one of our group to share their experiences with these happenings so we could all discuss them and tease out what we heard. I’mRead More →

Almost another year has gone by and our group continues to meet monthly (skipping July). It is four of us white women, all members of the Society of Friends (Quakers). Recognizing much of our work is to learn how to be in real community together, to trust each other, and to practice noticing our patterns of participating in white supremacy culture and other forms of racial oppression. Honestly, I think we have slid a bit into both honest support and also a bit of patting on the back kinds of tepid behaviors. In our next meeting we will be discussing our format going forward andRead More →

We had a check-in this month where we confirmed our commitment to the group. We talked about how valuable it has been to build trust together. We agreed that trying to read and discuss a book wasn’t the right path for us. Each of the four of us are all engaged in antiracism efforts, taking four very different forms. Beginning in November, we are going to adjust the format to include sharing with active listening (e.g. “I heard you say…”). We want to build up to giving feedback, noticing patterns that will surface — for me there is perfectionism, people pleasing, avoidance, difficulty taking upRead More →

I’ll be honest, the book discussion idea led us down a path where we’ve started to be just a general support group. Yes, we have focused some on our whiteness and our role in upholding white supremacy, but, even writing that feels dishonest. We have been building trust and having deep and rich conversations. But the group feels like it’s off-track. We will not be meeting in August. In September we will discuss how to bring the group back to it’s original purpose: helping us break free from white supremacy culture so we can better help to be in community with the wider world, workingRead More →

How to explain that we will be reading a book together, but we are not a “book club?” One of the biggest lessons for me, personally, has been how important building trust together is as we try to dig into our own roles supporting white supremacy culture and other oppressive systems. For issues that are so critical, so life-or-death, and so urgent, it’s a bit confusing for me to realize we needed to slow down. We needed to slow down to really get to know each other and build trust so calling each other in (or out, whichever you prefer) and challenging each other onRead More →

We are still meeting, monthly. However, the two men in our group left last spring. Due to health reasons I was not at either of the meetings when they explained their decisions. As I’m writing this, realizing I’m not 100% sure why they left (I have a pretty good sense about it — they didn’t like being put on the spot, is my perception of it) and understanding that is important. At some point, I may reach out to one of them to talk through their reasoning. Honestly, though, “what the white men feel about this” doesn’t feel like a top priority at the moment.*Read More →

We are no longer working with our wonderful consultant, Farron. We harmed them through racist actions and inactions. We were not ready for the depth of challenges they offered. We took the summer off, as several of us were going to be unavailable. Our work together is so tender, we want to have everyone together as much as possible. We are meeting later this month to process our next steps. This work is scary and difficult and also spiritually rich. We are faith-led people, and this has helped guide us.Read More →

It’s been a challenging and powerful time for the group. With the help of our consultant, we have been looking at our own behaviors, words, choices, and power. What does it mean to be “dismantling white supremacy?” What is “accountability?” We have a lot of work to do, but we are six white people committed to doing the work together. Our work with the consultant has mostly consisted of me meeting with Farron to process the shift that I have felt, personally, as I have (personally, not we as a group) realized I don’t want this to be “just another book group.” I started theRead More →

We’ve got some more time left with Farron, but it has become clear to me that I (and that we we white people) need more support and guidance as we get clear about our work. To be transparent with the fundraising that I’ve started, so I can hire Farron for another ten hours, I’ve set up a gofundme. I’m trying to raise $2,000. If you would like to support this work but don’t want to use gofundme, please feel free to email me at dwsgroups @ grantwinners.net and I will give you my mailing address or paypal or cashapp or venmo account information (I willRead More →

It feels almost like there’s too much going on, too much has happened, to be able to summarize. I’ll touch on some of the happenings… I was able to raise the money –through a “Leadings” grant from my Quaker Meeting and donations from individuals– to hire a consultant to work with our groups to get clear about what we’re doing, how we’re doing it, ensuring that these groups are on the path toward dismantling white supremacy rather than just “nice” support groups enabling passivity. (For sure, we aren’t people who are passive in our racial justice work!) We white people don’t have a lot ofRead More →